BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

Tonight I had the opportunity to help someone who was really struggling and angry.  I wanted to fix their situation but I couldn't.  I was trying to help them have a better attitude and see things a different way, but it didn't work very well.

From my perspective, this person's attitude was making the situation a lot worse than it needed to be.  If I could just convince them to think about it differently then it would be better.

But then I realized I really didn't know how they felt, I hadn't walked a mile in their shoes, I didn't understand all the things that led them to be so frustrated and angry.  The solution seemed simple to me, but I wasn't the one in pain, feeling discouraged and hopeless.  I hadn't gone through what they had.

So I just listened, and stopped making suggestions.  I quit judging the situation, and the person, and thinking I had the right answer.  I allowed them to be mad, to talk about it, and we even ended up laughing and making jokes at the end.

I love this quote..."When you finally learn that a person's behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than it ever did with you...you learn grace! ~Anonymous

To me, giving someone the benefit of the doubt means giving them some grace, believing they are better than they seem, and loving them even when it's hard to.  I need that from others, so I will keep working to be better at it!