SHINE YOUR LIGHT

I have always had a fascination with light.  To me it represents power and goodness.  Think about the contrast between light and darkness, and how even the smallest strike of a match can dispell a dark space.

In a world full of darkness and negativity, there is a great need and opportunity to be a light.  My goal each day is to be a light to anyone I come in contact with.  I truly believe that one person can make a difference, even with just a smile, a kind word, an act of service.

Everyday when my kids leave for school, I say "Let your light shine bright!"  They roll their eyes and say "I know MOM!", but it is important enough that I remind them every day.  Even if they just brighten one person's day, that is enough!

My most favorite quote about light is ..."Don't shine so that others can see you, Shine so that through you, others can see Him! ~anonymous

We all have the light within us, do we hide it or share it?  My greatest desire is to let Christ's light shine through me to bring love and goodness to others.  One light can make a difference, and collectively we can LIGHT UP THE WORLD!

How will you shine your light today?

MANUAL TROUBLE

Wouldn't it be great if people came with an instruction manual?  A guide of shoulds and shouldn'ts, do's and don'ts?  Then everyone would act properly and we would all be happy, right?

A manual is an instruction guide we have for someone in our lives about how we want them to behave so we can feel good and be happy.  In essence, we want to control them so we can feel better.

For example, my husband should mow the lawn, my kids should do their chores without complaining, my boss should tell me he appreciates the work I do, and so on.  When those things don't happen, I might feel upset, unappreciated, and unhappy.

When we use a manual, we are handing the power of how we feel to someone else...the person we are trying to control.  It never works.  Do you like how it feels when someone is trying to control you, or they set unrealistic expectations that you can never meet?

Most often, the people in our lives don't even know what's in our manual for them, nor would they want to comply if they did, so we set ourselves up for consistently being disappointed and frustrated.

What if we just dropped the manual altogether?  What if we just loved people exactly as they are and let them be however they want to be?

The truth is, each of us is responsible for meeting our own needs.  That's our own job!  All the power to feel happy lies within you.  It can't depend on someone else's behavior.

So lets chuck out our manuals once and for all...allowing for other people to just be themselves and choose to love them no matter what!

FAILING FORWARD

Failure gets a bad rap...it's something we try to avoid at all costs, but why?  Well, probably because it feels terrible, but what is wrong with that?  Did you know it's the people who are willing to feel all the feels of failing that have the most success?  It's because they keep getting back up and trying again, and each time they do, it becomes easier and better.  They know that the worst that can happen is to feel a negative feeling, and if they can handle that, then anything is possible!

I've heard it said to double the rate of failure if you want to achieve success.  Consider this...the only way you fail is if you quit!  And sometimes we paralyze ourselves into taking no action because we are so afraid of failing.  But really, isn't it better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing at all? 

So much is learned in the falling down and getting back up that you can't help but eventually succeed.  Let your failures propel you forward to achieving your biggest dreams!  You've got this!

COMPOUND EFFECT

Take a snapshot of your day.  How did you spend it?  What decisions did you make, no matter how big or small?  The daily decisions we make add up to create a compound effect.  Times each decision by 365...and what is the result?

A lot of little decisions can add up to a big pile of success! The big wins are made up of the little wins, and the big quits are made up of the little quits. (Brooke Castillo)

A good example of this is exercising.  Choosing to exercise for 30 minutes a day won't make much of a difference if you just do it once or twice, but when done everyday you gain strength and endurance and see positive changes in your body.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes about daily practices...

"It's not about perfection, it's about effort.  And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens.  That's how change occurs." ~ Journey Strength

"Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible, and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you." ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Consider what daily decisions you are making that could add up to something great.  Also consider what daily decisions are taking you away from where you want to be...this is the best way to make sure you are on the right track.

NO REGRETS

If you knew this would be your last day to live, what would you change?  How would you spend your time?  Who would you talk to, and what would you say?  What things would you want to resolve and let go of?  What would you want people to remember about you?

These are all important questions to ponder.  The good news is, we don't have to wait until our last day comes, we can act now.  We can choose to spend quality time with our loved ones, we can set down our phone and listen, we can forgive someone we have been holding a grudge against, we can try that thing we have always been scared of doing, we can extend kindness and withhold judgement.

Pondering how we're showing up in life is a good way to determine if there needs to be a course correction.  Are we headed in the direction we want to be going?  How are our relationships?  What is the next step we could take in our career or business?  Why aren't we doing it?  What are we scared of?

What is stopping you from living the life you want right now?  The answer is found by looking in the mirror...YOU!  YOU have the power to create the results you want in your life, no one else!

THANKFUL CHAIN

WALKER THANKFUL CHAIN 2019

Every year, before Thanksgiving, my family enjoys a tradition that has become dear to us.  We sit and talk about our blessings, and then on strips of colored paper we write as many things as we can think of that we are grateful for.  We connect the paper strips together to create a thankful chain!

Our goal is to make the chain long enough to go around the family room, then we hang it up as a reminder of all our bounteous blessings!  This year we had the privilege of having 12 missionaries over for Thanksgiving dinner, so we had them join the fun and add to our chain.  By the time they were finished, the chain went around the room four times!  That is a lot of things to be thankful for!

We leave the chain up for several months to remind us how blessed we are and how much we have to be thankful for.

Focusing on gratitude is the surest way to bring positivity into our lives! When we are constantly looking for the blessings in our lives, we attract more goodness to us.  We see things in a more positive light.  When we focus on the negative and the problems in our lives, we will find them as well, but being grateful sure feels a lot better!

The picture above shows part of our "Thankful Chain" for 2019, as well as my favorite sign that says.. ."Gratitude turns what we have into enough!" ~ Anonymous  This is a reminder to me that I have exactly what I need, and that thought provides me a lot of peace.

What would be on your Thankful chain?

BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

Tonight I had the opportunity to help someone who was really struggling and angry.  I wanted to fix their situation but I couldn't.  I was trying to help them have a better attitude and see things a different way, but it didn't work very well.

From my perspective, this person's attitude was making the situation a lot worse than it needed to be.  If I could just convince them to think about it differently then it would be better.

But then I realized I really didn't know how they felt, I hadn't walked a mile in their shoes, I didn't understand all the things that led them to be so frustrated and angry.  The solution seemed simple to me, but I wasn't the one in pain, feeling discouraged and hopeless.  I hadn't gone through what they had.

So I just listened, and stopped making suggestions.  I quit judging the situation, and the person, and thinking I had the right answer.  I allowed them to be mad, to talk about it, and we even ended up laughing and making jokes at the end.

I love this quote..."When you finally learn that a person's behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than it ever did with you...you learn grace! ~Anonymous

To me, giving someone the benefit of the doubt means giving them some grace, believing they are better than they seem, and loving them even when it's hard to.  I need that from others, so I will keep working to be better at it!

UPHILL CLIMB

I can always tell when something big or important is going to happen in my life because I start to feel a lot of resistance.  It usually comes in the form of self doubt, discouragement, and internal struggle, but sometimes it's just an abundance of obstacles to overcome.  It feels like taking one step forward and two steps back.

So if I'm paying attention, and I catch onto what is happening, I can start to be curious, and wonder what beautiful view will be at the top of the mountain that I seem to be climbing.  It helps me to keep trying and not give up.  It gives me hope that God's plan is unfolding in my favor and I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I have been feeling this way for awhile now, and just last week it occured to me that I am just where I need to be because,  "If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill!" ~Henry B. Eyring

And it is the struggle that will make the view the most beautiful.  Thankfully, I know I am not left alone.  "God rarely moves the mountain in front of us, but he ALWAYS helps us climb them!" ~Sheri Dew

I'm excited to see what beauty lies on the vista at the top of the mountain I am currently climbing!

Don't give up, keep climbing, and know that you are closer to the top than you think!

FAMILY FIRST

CHRISTMAS 2019

Hello there, my name is Marissa Walker.  I am Jessica's oldest daughter.  It has been said that I am her favorite child.  You don't have to take my word for it, just ask her what my contact is in her phone.  But no worries, I don't let it go to my head, haha!  All jokes aside, I wanted to hop on her blog and talk about something really important that my amazing parents taught me.

Neither of my parents grew up in a very stable or joy filled home.  My mother's parents got divorced when she was 14, and there were many struggles and  hardships after that.  My father's family was also very broken from the time he was very young.  It would have been easy and comfortable for them to create a home in which they replicated the type of homes they grew up in.  They created the exact opposite.  There is no better example of a father than my father.  The love and respect that he gives my mother, and the love he has for me and my siblings is indescribable.  He makes sacrifices for us daily that often go unnoticed.  He supports us in everything we do.  Everytime I call him he answers the phone and says "Hey Kid" with all the love in his voice.  He is a tender soul.

My mother is also an amazing example.  She is so kind, loving, thoughtful and nurturing.  She gave up every dream that she had of her own to raise us.  Growing up, everything that she did was to support us.  Whether that was coming to our games, volunteering at our schools, and countless other activities.  She sacrificed her time, energy, love, money, her body, and her own goals for us.

Despite all of these amazing sacrifices and things they have done for me, the best thing they ever could have given me is my siblings.  They are my favorite people.  I would do anything and everything for them.  I served a mission for the LDS church in Colorado, Wyoming and Nebraska and I went into countless homes everyday.  I saw just about every kind.  There is no other family I would choose than my own.  They are going to be the ones that are there forever, the ones in my corner everyday, the ones I am most comfortable with.  If I could, I would hang out with my family everyday!

Every one of my siblings is my best friend.  There is no one else that I would want to spend eternity with.  The greatest gift my parents ever gave me was being able to understand the importance of family.  They gave me Shane, Erica, Joshua and Megan.  They also gave me the best parents on earth.  My favorite memories are filled with their faces.  I love my family to no end!

WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

Who are you?  Seriously, how would you answer that?  I could say I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a daughter of God.  Some things are true and factual, but the rest is just our thoughts about who we are.

How do you know who you are?  How do you know what you are capable of?  In reality, we define ourselves with our thoughts.  Do you look to the past to define who you are, basing it on what you have done or accomplished, experiences you have had, things that have happened to you?

When we base our belief about ourselves on the past, we allow it to define us.  When we retell the same story over and over we easily fall into the "victim of my past" trap and get weighed down in the thoughts of it all.  It's easy to do when we believe so hard that it's all true.  But our past is really just our thoughts about it.

One of the most powerful coaching sessions I have had with a client went like this...I asked her to tell me the story about herself.  She started with things she remembered as a small child and told me things that happened and experiences she had all the way up to the present.  Most of them were really hard and sad things.  Then I asked her how she felt about her story.  She responded that it was accurate and it made her feel really sad.

Then I asked her to retell the story using the same facts and experiences and change each thing in to something positive.  For example; we moved a lot when I was a kid and I always had to switch schools(negative).  Instead it became; I got to live in a lot of different places and make many new friends.  I learned how to be flexible and adaptable.  When we were finished I asked her how she felt about her new story.  She said it was accurate and she felt really empowered.  Same story, different outcomes!

"If you're only allowed to think what you've already thought and imagine what is possible based on the capability from your past, the world will always stay as small as your past.  If you get to define yourself based on what is possible for you, everything is opened up!  There is no limit as to what you can do." ~ Brooke Castillo

And one more..."Don't let who you used to be hold you back from who you can become." ~Al Carraway

What is the story you tell about yourself?

A GREATER PURPOSE

Becoming a Life Coach has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.  It has caused me to raise the bar for myself tremendously, in a healthy way that keeps me striving upward!  It has allowed me the opportunity to help so many people, which fills me with joy and satisfaction.  But just like anything worthwhile, it is uncomfortable and takes a lot of hard work, especially on myself.  I know there is a purpose greater than what I can see, and I am excited to watch that continue to unfold.

I try to live by this everyday...

"Use me, God.  Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself." ~Martin Luther King Jr.

I'M A HOT MESS TOO!

I'm here to tell you that sometimes I'm a hot mess!  Sometimes I doubt myself, give in to unhealthy urges, get stressed out, even yell at my kids.  And guess what?? That's exactly how it is supposed to be!  Even though I know how to process urges, think from my higher brain, and manage my mind, it doesn't mean that I always do it well.  Sometimes I feel like a complete failure.  But does that mean that I am? NO WAY!  It's what I choose to think of it all that determines if I stay stuck, or keep evolving.  It's always a choice!

When I find myself feeling like a mess, my go to is a good cuddle with my sweet dog Evie, but what really makes a difference is giving myself some slack, some grace to get back up and keep trying.  Remembering that I am human and my brain is working just as it should!

I heard a really great quote today that impacted me..."Your mess is your message!" ~Kirk Duncan.  I thought about how true that is...how effective would I be in helping others if I always had it put together and didn't ever struggle?  I wouldn't be real, or relatable, and I wouldn't have to keep working on myself.  I also wouldn't need to turn to Heavenly Father for help, and I need Him more than anything!

You may have figured it out by now, but I love collecting quotes!  This one gets across what I want to say perfectly..."Rely on the Lord, for only HE can turn a MESS INTO A MESSAGE,  a test into a testimony, a trial into a triumph, and what is broken into something beautiful!" ~Zandra Vranes

YES!  Let's be a broken and beautiful mess together, help lift eachother up, and just keep trying to be a little better everyday!

THE EXAMPLE OF MY MOTHER

Hello friends! My name is Erica Walker. I am the daughter of Jessica. As I have seen my mom develop her blog and come up with post ideas, I kept thinking about what I have learned through her journey.

My entire life my mom has been overweight. I watched her struggle through weight loss for many years. She tried countless exercise programs, and diet plans, but each time she fell back into her old, unhealthy habits. When she told me that she had the goal of losing 100 pounds I was supportive of her and hoped that this time she would be able to do it. When she told me that she wasn't going to be eating chocolate or any sugar for a whole month, I was shocked! I never thought that my mom would give up sugar.

During that month I was astounded to see her change as much as she did. Although for the first few weeks she was pretty grumpy, I saw a change not only in her body, but in her demeanor. She looked happier. As she was losing weight and fulfilling her goal, she became more confident in herself, and she became a better person. Granted she was an amazing person before she lost weight, but after she lost 100 pounds, she had more energy to help herself and those around her. When she had reached her goal, I prayed that she would be able to sustain the healthy habits that she had created. Fortunately, she has been able to. Not because she's a health addict, but because she changed her mindset and she was able to realize that her old habits were not good for her mentally.

Sometimes in life we fail, and then we give up. But my mother has taught me that no matter how difficult the task, no matter how daunting it seems, as long as we have the right mindset and if we keep trying no matter what, we will be able to achieve that task. The biggest thing I have learned from this experience is that we first have to help ourselves before we can help others. A dear friend once explained it like this. When you are on an airplane, if an emergency happens, you are instructed to first put on your oxygen mask before helping those around you. Her example has been inspirational to me and has helped me through many tough times. She is extremely passionate about helping others and I hope that she can help you as much as she has helped me.

BE STILL

I have noticed something about myself...whenever I start to feel frenzied and overwhelmed, I can almost always trace it back to not spending quiet time pondering, reflecting, reading scriptures, and writing down my thoughts.

Taking time to quietly ponder and connect with my soul, and with God, helps me center myself, to be reminded of my worth, value and purpose.   Keeping the connection alive between my body and spirit helps me move forward with purpose.

But sometimes I forget.  More often than I would like, in fact. I allow myself to become distracted by the demands and struggles of daily life, and lose sight of the very thing I need most.  Stillness.

My 13 year old son recently participated in a class at school focused on taking care of yourself.  At first he didn't like it, but when they had to spend time just relaxing and meditating, it really helped him to deal with the stress of schoolwork and due dates.   Here is what he said about it..."The time that we take out of our day, to ponder and reflect on what we are doing right and what we need to work on, is a time that many overlook.  It gives us clarity and give us a daily goal."

"Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God." ~Maya Angelou

Slow down, take a deep breath, notice the beauty, listen, and feel of the infinite love that God has for you!


   

LIFE IS 50/50

These two kiddos keep things interesting at my house!  They are my youngest children, Megan and Josh,  and lets just say they are teaching me a lot!  They can be best friends one minute and worst enemies the next.  I see them being fiercely loyal to one another, then minutes later tattling on the other to make sure there will be a punishment given!

I love finding them sitting on the bed together talking about their day, and Josh giving Megan advice about how to survive 6th grade, or whatever the problem may be.  It warms my heart to see them playing games together and laughing. I DON'T love the fighting, the bugging, the tattling, and the "It's not fair!" phrase that I will never grow fond of!

But that's how life is, right?  It's all 50/50.  About half the time will not be great,  bad things will happen, we'll go through hard times and feel uncomfortable, we will fail and feel defeated.

And the other half will be amazing, full of great experiences and good times.  We will feel joy and happiness, confidence and pleasure.  We'll experience success and gratitude.

But one couldn't be without the other.  We would not appreciate the good times if we didn't ever experience disappointments and trials.  The good times are so much sweeter because of the hard things we go through.

And that's exactly how it is supposed to be!  Nothing has gone wrong.  We wouldn't recognize the good without the bad.  It's what makes life rich and beautiful.  Embracing it all opens you up to live your life to the fullest.

And hopefully those two monkeys will grow up to be the very closest friends!

BETTER TAKE CARE OF IT!

I believe that one of the ways God shows His great love for us is by giving us this beautiful world to live in.  This picture was taken at the Blue Pool on the McKenzie River trail in Oregon.  It was breathtaking.  I wouldn't have imagined doing anything to take away from the beauty of that place.

He also gave us a miraculous body to experience this life in.  Our bodies are all unique and some come with special challenges, but they are each a miracle!  They are a gift through which we get to experience mortality, to learn and grow and evolve, to create so much good.  What if we could adopt the same attitude toward our bodies and minds..we wouldn't want to do anything to take away from the beauty and wonder of it?

I know that when I take good care of my body, mind, and spirit,  I have more peace and clarity in my life.  I am more able to do good, to help others and be a bearer of God's light.  And the opposite is also true, when I don't take care of it, I feel discord between my body and spirit, and things get all muddled up.

When I read the following quote, it gave me a powerful new perspective about my responsibility to myself and God as it pertains to my body...

"God created it, Jesus died for it, the Spirit lives in it, I'd BETTER take care of it!" ~ Rick Warren

I couldn't have summed it up any better!

JUST AS I AM

There are a lot of funny and unique things about me...I talk with a lisp, I have only partial hearing in my right ear, my left eye opens wider than my right, I have an open bite, I smell everything, I am always cold, my pinky finger sticks up whenever I take a drink, I lose my phone at least five times a day, I can't live without my Burt's Bees chapstick,  and I love David Archuleta!

These things are part of what makes me special, and different.  I have been self conscious about many of them, until I just decided to embrace all of the things about me and love them.  I also laugh at myself a lot, and it's a good thing because taking myself too seriously would be no fun!  My family laughs at me a lot too, mostly because of my poor hearing, and my responses to what I think they say that makes no sense!  It used to bother me, but now I think its funny too!

Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same?  Our unique differences are a beautiful thing that allow us to add variety and richness to the world!  Why in the heck then, would we compare ourselves to someone else?  But we do, often without even realizing it!  I am definitely guilty of this.

I love this analogy..."A flower does not think to compete with the flower next to it, it just blooms!"~Anonymous  What if we just all gave each other the opportunity to bloom, and love and accept each other just as we are?  Wouldn't that feel so good?  What a beautiful flower garden we could create!

And thinking about ourselves less, because we are confident in who we are, allows us to focus on others and show up in a more authentic way.  Here is a great way to think about it..."Confidence isn't thinking you are better than anyone else, it is realizing that you have no reason to compare yourself to anyone else" ~ Maryann Hasnaa.

So let's start with loving ourselves, just as we are, and then doing the same for others, and see the beauty we can create...it's all in the eye of the beholder!

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I saw this sign one day when I was out on a run, and I just had to stop and take a picture!  What a clever way to describe a construction site, but it also exactly described ME!  I had just started Life Coach School and was experiencing a great deal of inner growth and change, and boy was it uncomfortable!  To be honest, I was kind of a mess!

I thought of the parallels between this construction site and me.  For whatever reason, improvements needed to be made, and this meant tearing down and rebuilding, which creates a mess.  The improvements require a lot of hard work, and a vision for what the end result will be.  But with the consistent daily effort, the job gets done and the end result is amazing!

Reconstruction of my mindset is challenging, sometimes I'm still a mess, but I have a vision of who I want to become, and am making the daily efforts to get there!  It may be hard to see on the outside, but I know "BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING!...THEY JUST AREN'T MUCH TO LOOK AT YET!"  I know it's going to be worth all of the work, and the mess, and the belief that the result will be the best version of me yet! 

SELF INTEGRITY

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One of my areas of focus this year is improving my self integrity.  I think of this as my relationship of trust with myself.  Do I keep commitments to me?  Do I have my own back?  Can I count on me?

This was a real problem for me in the past.  I for sure kept my commitments to others, but to myself, not so much.  Because of this, I did not believe in my ability change.  I would try and fail over and over again.  I thought the thought "I can never overcome this struggle" for so long that my brain believed it was truth .

I was wrong!  With lots of effort and practice changing my thoughts about myself I am learning that I DO have the power to change.  I CAN show up for myself.  I CAN keep commitments to myself and have self discipline. I get to choose.  And when I'm not perfect at it, I can give myself some grace and keep trying.

I love the following quote.."If you want to be responsible, keep your promises to others.  If you want to be successful, keep your promises to yourself." ~Marie Forleo

It's nobody else's job to like me, that's my job!  It's nobody else's job to get my back, that's my job! It's nobody else's job to make me happy, that's my job!  And I have control over all of that, which is the best news I've heard in a LONG time!

LESSONS LEARNED ON THE ROADSIDE

A few days before Christmas my family packed up and headed across Oregon to Idaho where we were going to spend Christmas with our oldest son and his wife.  We had been planning this trip for months and were so excited.  We had rented a cabin in the mountains and were going to spend the week playing in the snow and making special memories.

It was evening when we drove that two hour stretch between Bend and Burns Oregon, the one where there is absolutely nothing...including cell reception.  And our ol' faithful suburban lost steam and died.

We were lucky enough to pull off in a turn out so we were safely off the road.  By some miracle,  10 feet ahead and 10 feet behind there was no phone reception, but in the the little spot where we stopped we got a signal.  Dan assessed the car, and it was clear that nothing could be done on the side of the road to fix it.  So we called a tow truck.  They would come for our car, but would not transport the six of us and our dog.  It was FREEZING cold, and dark.  We decided to pray.  Josh asked that we could be taken care of and fix the car quickly so we could continue on our trip.  I was able to find the phone number to the nearest LDS Bishop, but he didn't answer his phone.  We left a message and hoped for the best.  We knew literally no one else to call for help.

Shortly after, the phone rang and our hearts leaped with hope!  It was the Bishop, and although he was out of town, he connected us with one of the other church leaders in the area, who was soon on his way to rescue us.  While we waited we sang songs, made jokes and tried to stay warm.  Miraculously, the tow truck and our rescuer arrived almost at the exact same time.  We met our new hero, Todd, who was kind and friendly and he helped us pack up what we needed in his suburban.  Soon we were headed to Burns.  He wouldn't hear of us staying at a hotel because he and his wife were empty nesters and had two extra bedrooms and plenty of space for us.  He also just happened to own the Napa Auto Parts store in town and was good friends with all of the mechanics in Burns.  We could hardly believe it!  When we arrived at Todd's house, his wife welcomed us warmly and made us a big pot of spaghetti.  We ate and visited and then bedded down for the night.

The next day, parts were ordered, and repairs were underway.  We hung out in the back of the Napa Auto Parts store where we participated in the company potluck and made Tic Tok videos and laughed and visited.  The picture above is of Todd with my kids.  He was surely our unexpected hero!  We were back on the road by 4:00, and we were so thankful!!

Here is what I learned from this experience - We can't always control our circumstances, but we can control how we react to them.  It would have been easy to panic, stress, and  freak out in this situation, but what good would that have done?  Turning this time into a memory making opportunity made all the difference.  Second, we are always being watched over.  There were so many tender mercies sent to us in that 24 hour period, and noticing each of them really helped us feel loved, valued, and SO GRATEFUL!  Third, there are lots of really good people it this world.  Todd and his wife were just ordinary folks, but they did something extraordinary by opening their home and hearts to us, our whole crazy family, and did it without expecting anything in return.  Fourth, everything works out in the end, even if it is different than we expect, which it usually is!  We could have never anticipated all the things that worked together for our good during our unexpected circumstance.  We lost a day at the cabin, but made some memories and learned some lessons we would have completely missed had we not had this experience.  And you know what?  Our time at the cabin was even sweeter, and more appreciated that it would have been if everything had gone just as we planned!

OPENING MY HEART

I have never been a dog person.   Raising five kids was hard enough, and the thought of keeping another body alive and cared for was beyond me.  So whenever the idea of getting a dog came up in my family my answer was a resounding NO!  My mind was completely closed when it came to a dog.

And then my heart began to change.  I had been praying for some time for a solution to a challenge my family was experiencing.  The answer that kept coming to my mind was none other than...a dog!  I ignored it, denied it, kept praying, and kept getting the same answer...dang it!

What happened next was nothing short of a miracle...my heart began to soften, the Lord sent us the PERFECT dog, and all of sudden, we were dog owners.  Evie captured all of our hearts (especially mine) and brought something special to our home and family that I never knew was missing.


Many miracles have come because of Evie.  How much my family and I would have missed if I had not opened my mind and heart to the idea of having her.

How often do we do this in our lives...keeping our minds closed to things that seem an absolute NO to us?  Deciding ahead of time how things should be?   Not being willing or open to the possibility that there could be a different way, or opportunities ahead that we cannot yet see?

Opening our hearts and minds to the possibilities that we don't yet comprehend can bring us more growth and blessings than we can even imagine!  I would highly recommend it!

WHO GETS MY VOTE?

I heard an analogy the other day that really impacted me, and I've been thinking about it ever since...

Everyday, with every decision we make, and every thought we think, we are casting a vote for the person we currently are, or the person we want to become.  In other words,  we are choosing to stay where we are, or get closer to our desired future self.

The person you are today is wonderful, perfectly worthy and whole.  But you likely have a different version of yourself you want to become, one that will take some work to reach.

Let me illustrate.  If I choose to sleep in and not exercise, I am voting to stay exactly as I am.  If I choose to get up and do my workout, I am voting to get stronger and honor my commitment to myself, and be one step closer to my future self.  If I think and believe a negative thought about myself, I am voting to remain stuck in self doubt, but if I cast out the thought and replace it with a positive one, I am moving closer to the person I want to become.  When I choose to have my own back, I'm voting for my future self!

Guess what??  The person with the most votes wins!!

Ask yourself, who am I voting for today?

JUST BE YOU!

This is my beautiful daughter, Marissa!  She is sassy and amazing and hilarious!  She is tough and stubborn, determined and incredibly loyal!

Marissa is the most authentic person I know.  She is 100% real, no pretending, no trying to be like anyone else, no holding back.  I admire this so much about her!  She says what she thinks, calls people out on their crap, and makes everyone around her laugh!  She has a special gift of reading people, like she can see inside their soul.

She and I have very different perspectives and personality traits, like quite opposite actually!  This has created many challenges in our relationship over the years.  I used to think this was a problem, but now I realize it is a blessing.  It was always supposed to be that way.

She helps me see things through a different lense.  She reminds me to just be myself.  She teaches me that there is more than one way to do things, and it's good to be different!

God knew I had so much to learn about myself, so He sent Marissa to teach me, to challenge me, and to help me discover things I many not have otherwise seen!  I'm a blessed Mama.

PASSING IT ON!

 Last summer I traveled to Seattle to meet my mentor and coach, Jody Moore!  I wanted to make sure she knew how much she changed my life.  But do you know what she told me?  She said "No, YOU changed your life, I just taught you the tools!"

I had never really thought of it that way.  Everything I learned from Jody changed me, but only because I chose to let it, to implement it, to put it into action.  And I will forever be grateful to her, and to me!

Now it is my turn to pass it on.  I want to teach others, to share what has changed my life, what has helped me see that I am capable of so much more than I realized, that the answers are already within me, that I have the power to create the results I want in my life!  This is available to EVERY ONE OF US!

Becoming a Life Coach has been an incredible and uncomfortable journey.  It keeps me accountable and drives me to live what I teach, to keep progressing, and to be an example of what is possible.  If I can help even one person change their life the way Jody Moore helped me change mine, it will be totally worth it!

BELIEF POWER

Why is it that every single day we are bombarded with thoughts of self doubt, and discouragement?  Or maybe it's just me.  The good news is, we get to choose what thoughts we believe, and while our default may be to let those automatic thoughts take hold,  I know that with conscious effort and awareness, I can kick those thoughts right out and choose ones that serve me much better.

Here's a powerful quote to consider...

"The only thing between you and your dreams is what you believe!" (Brooke Castillo)

Our thoughts and beliefs create our emotions, which then drive our actions.  Our actions then create the results we have in our life.  What results do you want to create?

I choose to believe that I am strong, beautiful, capable, smart, and worthy!!  These thoughts don't always come without some practice and effort, but they are the ones I choose to believe because they feel so much better than the discouraging thoughts.  And the results are 100% better!  What will you choose to believe?

CARRYING OUR WEIGHT

I had the honor and privilege of sharing much of my weight loss journey with a really special girl named Jenna.  She had a goal of losing 75 lbs, and we worked our butts off together, quite literally!

Jenna had the crazy idea that we should pack the amount of weight we had lost in a backpack and hike to the top of Spencer's Butte, a somewhat steep and already challenging hike.  At that time I had lost 70 lbs, and Jenna had reached her goal of 75 lbs!

It was really hard, but we totally did it!

The experience impacted me deeply.  It became very real that for all those years I had been carrying a lot of extra weight that slowed me down, wore me out, and impeded my progress.  It kept me from living my fullest life.  And while I was just as amazing and worthy and beautiful before, the literal weight of my body had held me back from experiencing so much freedom and joy.

I love the quote "Our life cannot become what we want by remaining who we are!"(Anonymous).  To become the next version of ourselves, we have to do things we've never done before, push ourselves, take chances, and get really uncomfortable.  I'm so glad I proved to myself that day, and the many days leading up to it, that I am capable of doing hard things.  And I am totally worth it!

LUCKIEST GIRL!

This picture represents a tender memory. 

 Fours years ago when I was at my heaviest weight, the diamond fell out of my wedding ring.  I could not get the ring off of my finger to have it repaired.  It was heartbreaking and humiliating to have my husband cut it off. This was a very low point for me and I promised myself that night that I would not get it fixed until I had lost weight and reached a healthy size that I could maintain. In this photo, I had just gotten my ring back from the jeweler and call me sentimental, but it was really special to have Dan put it back on my finger. 

I am the luckiest girl in the whole world to be married to this amazing man who has always been my biggest cheerleader.  He has always seen the beauty in me, no matter my size.  He has always looked at me with adoration, even when I didn't understand how he could.

He tells me I am even more beautiful now...not because I am thinner, but because I finally believe it too!

LESSONS FROM MY BRACE FACE!

My whole life I have needed braces, and this year I was so  excited to finally get them!   Having a severely open bite has provided me with some unique challenges that I have learned to live with for the last 45 years.  But now my mouth is changing, and I couldn't be more happy about it...well, most of the time! Here are some lessons I have learned from being a "Brace Face":

1. Change is slow, uncomfortable, and sometimes not very pretty! When I got my braces on, my mouth was so sore.  The new metal and hardware, the ache in my teeth from them being put under pressure to move.  And I felt like everyone could see my braces like neon lights flashing!  And wearing them for 2 years seemed like so long.  Isn't this how we feel when we step out of our comfort zone and work on making big changes in our lives?  Isn't it uncomfortable trying to change something that has been the same way for sooo long?  And doesn't it feel like everyone can see how much of a struggle we are in?  But actually, probably no one is noticing, and the time will pass quickly, and being uncomfortable is the best way to appreciate what we have to look forward to...the greater outcome we are working toward!

2.  Change takes extra work, but the outcome is so worth it!  Yes, eating is harder, talking is harder, brushing and flossing my teeth takes so long, but keeping in mind how great my bite will be when the process is over far overrides the discomfort!  When we are working hard toward a goal, or a big change in our lives, keep the end in mind!  Nothing worthwhile ever came easy.  We can't get stronger doing easy things.  It will TOTALLY be worth all of the extra work!

3. No pain, no gain!  I often get sores inside my mouth from the metal rubbing against the inside of my lips and cheeks.  But what I discovered, is that if I leave them alone, that a calaus will form and the pain will lessen!  When we allow ourselves to feel the negative emotions that often come with making changes in our lives, those feelings pass more quickly, and we gain strength and momentum!

4.  Regular check ups are important for staying in alignment!  Just like I have a regular appointment to adjust my wires and check my progress, when we make it a priority to check in with ourselves to evaluate how we are doing, it will be much easier to stay on track.   When we notice a need for a course correction and take action, we will be more successful in reaching our goal.  This requires being really honest with ourselves, and giving ourselves some grace when we fall...to get back up and try again!

5. Gratitude makes all the difference!  Even though my braces are uncomfortable, unattractive, and annoying...I am SO GRATEFUL to have them.  My mouth is changing ever so slowly, but just knowing that it is happening brings me a lot of joy!  When I think of the outcome at the end, it is totally worth the struggle now!  When we focus on the outcome we are working toward and can be grateful for the whole experience, even the discomfort, we can find joy in the process and arrive at our desired outcome with a deepened appreciation of what we are capable of!

So the next time you see someone in braces (especially an adult!), give them a smile, and let it remind you of the beauty and value of transformation, even with the painful parts, and that it will totally all be worth it!

KEEPIN IT REAL!

Reaching my seemingly impossible goal was awesome, and it did feel amazing, but I had somehow mistakenly believed that staying at a healthy weight would then be easy!  I couldn't have been more wrong!!  Wait, but with all the great new habits, and knowledge and tools I had, I would still struggle with my weight?  No way!

It's true, folks!  Our brains really like to go to what is comfortable, and to what takes the least amount of work.  And the habits that have driven us for many years are hard to leave behind forever!  So another journey then began...the journey of figuring out how I wanted to treat myself for good!

Because we're human, none of us will be perfect at being true to ourselves all the time, but consistently trying allows us to grow stronger and show up authentically!  Giving ourselves some grace when we slack a little, or eat something we normally wouldn't,  loving ourselves despite our urges and lack of motivation, and continuing to do our best everyday...putting one step in front of the other, quite literally sometimes.

The photo above is after I had completed a 5K community run, very slowly I might add, but I finished...by putting one foot in front of the other!  Slow and steady is my motto!

It's the small daily choices that add up to a big end result, and if slow and steady is the motto, then we can use those slow and steady habits to help overcome our natural brain that just wants everything to be as easy as possible.  Every day.  Every hour.  Every minute!  And when we fail, we can know that if we just get back up, brush ourselves off, and keep going...in the end we will be fine!

WAKE UP, YOUR LIFE IS CALLING!

This was me...a busy mom of five kids, married to a wonderful man, with an amazing life, seemingly happy and doing great....all the while just going through the motions and saying yes to every opportunity to volunteer and help others so I could feel validated and worthwhile.  Food was my happy place, especially sugar.  I used it to cover any feelings of stress, frustration, overwhelm, or anything negative that came my way.  I felt out of control and unhappy.  In my efforts to be the very best mom, I had completely neglected to take care of myself, and despite my great life, I was miserable.

One day, I received a card in the mail from a friend.  Written on the front were the words "WAKE UP, YOUR LIFE IS CALLING!"  While it felt like a slap in the face, it hit me that I was not showing up in my life the way I wanted to, and I was missing out on a lot of joy.  The desire to change had burned in me for awhile, but this lit the match.

My quest for change began, and while I had little confidence in myself from all the times I'd tried and failed in the past, I was determined!  My friend shared a podcast with me called "Bold New Mom" (by Jody Moore) that I started listening to right away.  The new concepts and tools I was learning were just what I needed, and after some time I began to believe in my power to change my own life.  I took responsibility for where I was at and started learning to love myself enough to create better results in my life.  I set a goal to lose 100 lbs!  It was crazy, and seemingly impossible, but somehow I believed I could do it.

Then the work began.  And I don't mean just the exercise and eating changes,  I mean the work on reprogramming my brain.  Learning a new way to think about myself and the power I had within was the single most life changing thing I have ever done!  There are so many diets/programs/products out there for weight loss, but without getting to the root of the problem, it's like putting a bandaid on a broken arm.  I learned that lasting change would not happen unless I changed my thinking!

The road to reaching my goal was full of potholes and unexpected turns, but with my family as my biggest cheerleaders, my newfound confidence, and a lot of help from the Lord, I reached my goal in 1 year and 3 months!  I felt on top of the world!  The best part was that it wasn't just my body that was much healthier, it was my mindset.  I was able to show up in every area of my life with more self confidence and compassion.

Many people came to me asking for help and advice on how they could lose weight.  The answer seemed so simple, yet it was so personal that it was hard to explain.  I wanted to shout it to the world, to help every woman who struggled with their weight and low self esteem to find the freedom I was experiencing...but how??  That's when I knew that becoming a Life and Weight Coach was my answer.  That journey is another post in itself, but I am so excited to be here, ready to share with the world the life-changing tools that have brought me to where I am now.