SHINE YOUR LIGHT

I have always had a fascination with light.  To me it represents power and goodness.  Think about the contrast between light and darkness, and how even the smallest strike of a match can dispell a dark space.

In a world full of darkness and negativity, there is a great need and opportunity to be a light.  My goal each day is to be a light to anyone I come in contact with.  I truly believe that one person can make a difference, even with just a smile, a kind word, an act of service.

Everyday when my kids leave for school, I say "Let your light shine bright!"  They roll their eyes and say "I know MOM!", but it is important enough that I remind them every day.  Even if they just brighten one person's day, that is enough!

My most favorite quote about light is ..."Don't shine so that others can see you, Shine so that through you, others can see Him! ~anonymous

We all have the light within us, do we hide it or share it?  My greatest desire is to let Christ's light shine through me to bring love and goodness to others.  One light can make a difference, and collectively we can LIGHT UP THE WORLD!

How will you shine your light today?

MANUAL TROUBLE

Wouldn't it be great if people came with an instruction manual?  A guide of shoulds and shouldn'ts, do's and don'ts?  Then everyone would act properly and we would all be happy, right?

A manual is an instruction guide we have for someone in our lives about how we want them to behave so we can feel good and be happy.  In essence, we want to control them so we can feel better.

For example, my husband should mow the lawn, my kids should do their chores without complaining, my boss should tell me he appreciates the work I do, and so on.  When those things don't happen, I might feel upset, unappreciated, and unhappy.

When we use a manual, we are handing the power of how we feel to someone else...the person we are trying to control.  It never works.  Do you like how it feels when someone is trying to control you, or they set unrealistic expectations that you can never meet?

Most often, the people in our lives don't even know what's in our manual for them, nor would they want to comply if they did, so we set ourselves up for consistently being disappointed and frustrated.

What if we just dropped the manual altogether?  What if we just loved people exactly as they are and let them be however they want to be?

The truth is, each of us is responsible for meeting our own needs.  That's our own job!  All the power to feel happy lies within you.  It can't depend on someone else's behavior.

So lets chuck out our manuals once and for all...allowing for other people to just be themselves and choose to love them no matter what!

FAILING FORWARD

Failure gets a bad rap...it's something we try to avoid at all costs, but why?  Well, probably because it feels terrible, but what is wrong with that?  Did you know it's the people who are willing to feel all the feels of failing that have the most success?  It's because they keep getting back up and trying again, and each time they do, it becomes easier and better.  They know that the worst that can happen is to feel a negative feeling, and if they can handle that, then anything is possible!

I've heard it said to double the rate of failure if you want to achieve success.  Consider this...the only way you fail is if you quit!  And sometimes we paralyze ourselves into taking no action because we are so afraid of failing.  But really, isn't it better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing at all? 

So much is learned in the falling down and getting back up that you can't help but eventually succeed.  Let your failures propel you forward to achieving your biggest dreams!  You've got this!

COMPOUND EFFECT

Take a snapshot of your day.  How did you spend it?  What decisions did you make, no matter how big or small?  The daily decisions we make add up to create a compound effect.  Times each decision by 365...and what is the result?

A lot of little decisions can add up to a big pile of success! The big wins are made up of the little wins, and the big quits are made up of the little quits. (Brooke Castillo)

A good example of this is exercising.  Choosing to exercise for 30 minutes a day won't make much of a difference if you just do it once or twice, but when done everyday you gain strength and endurance and see positive changes in your body.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes about daily practices...

"It's not about perfection, it's about effort.  And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens.  That's how change occurs." ~ Journey Strength

"Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible, and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you." ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Consider what daily decisions you are making that could add up to something great.  Also consider what daily decisions are taking you away from where you want to be...this is the best way to make sure you are on the right track.

NO REGRETS

If you knew this would be your last day to live, what would you change?  How would you spend your time?  Who would you talk to, and what would you say?  What things would you want to resolve and let go of?  What would you want people to remember about you?

These are all important questions to ponder.  The good news is, we don't have to wait until our last day comes, we can act now.  We can choose to spend quality time with our loved ones, we can set down our phone and listen, we can forgive someone we have been holding a grudge against, we can try that thing we have always been scared of doing, we can extend kindness and withhold judgement.

Pondering how we're showing up in life is a good way to determine if there needs to be a course correction.  Are we headed in the direction we want to be going?  How are our relationships?  What is the next step we could take in our career or business?  Why aren't we doing it?  What are we scared of?

What is stopping you from living the life you want right now?  The answer is found by looking in the mirror...YOU!  YOU have the power to create the results you want in your life, no one else!

THANKFUL CHAIN

WALKER THANKFUL CHAIN 2019

Every year, before Thanksgiving, my family enjoys a tradition that has become dear to us.  We sit and talk about our blessings, and then on strips of colored paper we write as many things as we can think of that we are grateful for.  We connect the paper strips together to create a thankful chain!

Our goal is to make the chain long enough to go around the family room, then we hang it up as a reminder of all our bounteous blessings!  This year we had the privilege of having 12 missionaries over for Thanksgiving dinner, so we had them join the fun and add to our chain.  By the time they were finished, the chain went around the room four times!  That is a lot of things to be thankful for!

We leave the chain up for several months to remind us how blessed we are and how much we have to be thankful for.

Focusing on gratitude is the surest way to bring positivity into our lives! When we are constantly looking for the blessings in our lives, we attract more goodness to us.  We see things in a more positive light.  When we focus on the negative and the problems in our lives, we will find them as well, but being grateful sure feels a lot better!

The picture above shows part of our "Thankful Chain" for 2019, as well as my favorite sign that says.. ."Gratitude turns what we have into enough!" ~ Anonymous  This is a reminder to me that I have exactly what I need, and that thought provides me a lot of peace.

What would be on your Thankful chain?

BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

Tonight I had the opportunity to help someone who was really struggling and angry.  I wanted to fix their situation but I couldn't.  I was trying to help them have a better attitude and see things a different way, but it didn't work very well.

From my perspective, this person's attitude was making the situation a lot worse than it needed to be.  If I could just convince them to think about it differently then it would be better.

But then I realized I really didn't know how they felt, I hadn't walked a mile in their shoes, I didn't understand all the things that led them to be so frustrated and angry.  The solution seemed simple to me, but I wasn't the one in pain, feeling discouraged and hopeless.  I hadn't gone through what they had.

So I just listened, and stopped making suggestions.  I quit judging the situation, and the person, and thinking I had the right answer.  I allowed them to be mad, to talk about it, and we even ended up laughing and making jokes at the end.

I love this quote..."When you finally learn that a person's behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than it ever did with you...you learn grace! ~Anonymous

To me, giving someone the benefit of the doubt means giving them some grace, believing they are better than they seem, and loving them even when it's hard to.  I need that from others, so I will keep working to be better at it!

UPHILL CLIMB

I can always tell when something big or important is going to happen in my life because I start to feel a lot of resistance.  It usually comes in the form of self doubt, discouragement, and internal struggle, but sometimes it's just an abundance of obstacles to overcome.  It feels like taking one step forward and two steps back.

So if I'm paying attention, and I catch onto what is happening, I can start to be curious, and wonder what beautiful view will be at the top of the mountain that I seem to be climbing.  It helps me to keep trying and not give up.  It gives me hope that God's plan is unfolding in my favor and I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I have been feeling this way for awhile now, and just last week it occured to me that I am just where I need to be because,  "If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill!" ~Henry B. Eyring

And it is the struggle that will make the view the most beautiful.  Thankfully, I know I am not left alone.  "God rarely moves the mountain in front of us, but he ALWAYS helps us climb them!" ~Sheri Dew

I'm excited to see what beauty lies on the vista at the top of the mountain I am currently climbing!

Don't give up, keep climbing, and know that you are closer to the top than you think!

FAMILY FIRST

CHRISTMAS 2019

Hello there, my name is Marissa Walker.  I am Jessica's oldest daughter.  It has been said that I am her favorite child.  You don't have to take my word for it, just ask her what my contact is in her phone.  But no worries, I don't let it go to my head, haha!  All jokes aside, I wanted to hop on her blog and talk about something really important that my amazing parents taught me.

Neither of my parents grew up in a very stable or joy filled home.  My mother's parents got divorced when she was 14, and there were many struggles and  hardships after that.  My father's family was also very broken from the time he was very young.  It would have been easy and comfortable for them to create a home in which they replicated the type of homes they grew up in.  They created the exact opposite.  There is no better example of a father than my father.  The love and respect that he gives my mother, and the love he has for me and my siblings is indescribable.  He makes sacrifices for us daily that often go unnoticed.  He supports us in everything we do.  Everytime I call him he answers the phone and says "Hey Kid" with all the love in his voice.  He is a tender soul.

My mother is also an amazing example.  She is so kind, loving, thoughtful and nurturing.  She gave up every dream that she had of her own to raise us.  Growing up, everything that she did was to support us.  Whether that was coming to our games, volunteering at our schools, and countless other activities.  She sacrificed her time, energy, love, money, her body, and her own goals for us.

Despite all of these amazing sacrifices and things they have done for me, the best thing they ever could have given me is my siblings.  They are my favorite people.  I would do anything and everything for them.  I served a mission for the LDS church in Colorado, Wyoming and Nebraska and I went into countless homes everyday.  I saw just about every kind.  There is no other family I would choose than my own.  They are going to be the ones that are there forever, the ones in my corner everyday, the ones I am most comfortable with.  If I could, I would hang out with my family everyday!

Every one of my siblings is my best friend.  There is no one else that I would want to spend eternity with.  The greatest gift my parents ever gave me was being able to understand the importance of family.  They gave me Shane, Erica, Joshua and Megan.  They also gave me the best parents on earth.  My favorite memories are filled with their faces.  I love my family to no end!

WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

Who are you?  Seriously, how would you answer that?  I could say I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a daughter of God.  Some things are true and factual, but the rest is just our thoughts about who we are.

How do you know who you are?  How do you know what you are capable of?  In reality, we define ourselves with our thoughts.  Do you look to the past to define who you are, basing it on what you have done or accomplished, experiences you have had, things that have happened to you?

When we base our belief about ourselves on the past, we allow it to define us.  When we retell the same story over and over we easily fall into the "victim of my past" trap and get weighed down in the thoughts of it all.  It's easy to do when we believe so hard that it's all true.  But our past is really just our thoughts about it.

One of the most powerful coaching sessions I have had with a client went like this...I asked her to tell me the story about herself.  She started with things she remembered as a small child and told me things that happened and experiences she had all the way up to the present.  Most of them were really hard and sad things.  Then I asked her how she felt about her story.  She responded that it was accurate and it made her feel really sad.

Then I asked her to retell the story using the same facts and experiences and change each thing in to something positive.  For example; we moved a lot when I was a kid and I always had to switch schools(negative).  Instead it became; I got to live in a lot of different places and make many new friends.  I learned how to be flexible and adaptable.  When we were finished I asked her how she felt about her new story.  She said it was accurate and she felt really empowered.  Same story, different outcomes!

"If you're only allowed to think what you've already thought and imagine what is possible based on the capability from your past, the world will always stay as small as your past.  If you get to define yourself based on what is possible for you, everything is opened up!  There is no limit as to what you can do." ~ Brooke Castillo

And one more..."Don't let who you used to be hold you back from who you can become." ~Al Carraway

What is the story you tell about yourself?

A GREATER PURPOSE

Becoming a Life Coach has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.  It has caused me to raise the bar for myself tremendously, in a healthy way that keeps me striving upward!  It has allowed me the opportunity to help so many people, which fills me with joy and satisfaction.  But just like anything worthwhile, it is uncomfortable and takes a lot of hard work, especially on myself.  I know there is a purpose greater than what I can see, and I am excited to watch that continue to unfold.

I try to live by this everyday...

"Use me, God.  Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself." ~Martin Luther King Jr.

I'M A HOT MESS TOO!

I'm here to tell you that sometimes I'm a hot mess!  Sometimes I doubt myself, give in to unhealthy urges, get stressed out, even yell at my kids.  And guess what?? That's exactly how it is supposed to be!  Even though I know how to process urges, think from my higher brain, and manage my mind, it doesn't mean that I always do it well.  Sometimes I feel like a complete failure.  But does that mean that I am? NO WAY!  It's what I choose to think of it all that determines if I stay stuck, or keep evolving.  It's always a choice!

When I find myself feeling like a mess, my go to is a good cuddle with my sweet dog Evie, but what really makes a difference is giving myself some slack, some grace to get back up and keep trying.  Remembering that I am human and my brain is working just as it should!

I heard a really great quote today that impacted me..."Your mess is your message!" ~Kirk Duncan.  I thought about how true that is...how effective would I be in helping others if I always had it put together and didn't ever struggle?  I wouldn't be real, or relatable, and I wouldn't have to keep working on myself.  I also wouldn't need to turn to Heavenly Father for help, and I need Him more than anything!

You may have figured it out by now, but I love collecting quotes!  This one gets across what I want to say perfectly..."Rely on the Lord, for only HE can turn a MESS INTO A MESSAGE,  a test into a testimony, a trial into a triumph, and what is broken into something beautiful!" ~Zandra Vranes

YES!  Let's be a broken and beautiful mess together, help lift eachother up, and just keep trying to be a little better everyday!

THE EXAMPLE OF MY MOTHER

Hello friends! My name is Erica Walker. I am the daughter of Jessica. As I have seen my mom develop her blog and come up with post ideas, I kept thinking about what I have learned through her journey.

My entire life my mom has been overweight. I watched her struggle through weight loss for many years. She tried countless exercise programs, and diet plans, but each time she fell back into her old, unhealthy habits. When she told me that she had the goal of losing 100 pounds I was supportive of her and hoped that this time she would be able to do it. When she told me that she wasn't going to be eating chocolate or any sugar for a whole month, I was shocked! I never thought that my mom would give up sugar.

During that month I was astounded to see her change as much as she did. Although for the first few weeks she was pretty grumpy, I saw a change not only in her body, but in her demeanor. She looked happier. As she was losing weight and fulfilling her goal, she became more confident in herself, and she became a better person. Granted she was an amazing person before she lost weight, but after she lost 100 pounds, she had more energy to help herself and those around her. When she had reached her goal, I prayed that she would be able to sustain the healthy habits that she had created. Fortunately, she has been able to. Not because she's a health addict, but because she changed her mindset and she was able to realize that her old habits were not good for her mentally.

Sometimes in life we fail, and then we give up. But my mother has taught me that no matter how difficult the task, no matter how daunting it seems, as long as we have the right mindset and if we keep trying no matter what, we will be able to achieve that task. The biggest thing I have learned from this experience is that we first have to help ourselves before we can help others. A dear friend once explained it like this. When you are on an airplane, if an emergency happens, you are instructed to first put on your oxygen mask before helping those around you. Her example has been inspirational to me and has helped me through many tough times. She is extremely passionate about helping others and I hope that she can help you as much as she has helped me.